Three days pass as I stake out her place in my car–I’m using my personal days at work but I don’t care, because I’m finding where she is most vulnerable. Finally, one day she goes to the spa! And she’s wearing my Jimmy Choos!

I follow her in where she is getting a mani, pedi, and ****** all at once. I bribe the girl doing the mani-pedi, and I take her place. My sandals are right there on the floor. I motion to my friend Vicki, who is holding the camera for me, to start recording. Very carefully, I take out her dried-puke-covered Armanis from the bag I carried them in, and replace my own sandals with her pukey shoes. Then I wedge wooden matches between her toes, light them, and say (in a disguised voice), “I be right back!” Vicki and I tiptoe a safe distance away but keep the camera rolling, and catch her reaction when she screams and jumps.

Then we put it on U-Tube, and send the link to all her friends at work (especially the girls, who all **** her).

I know I’m a little evil, heehee!

I refuse to buy designer clothes. I think they are a waste of money. I also wouldn’t wear a heel higher than two inches. Anything else looks tacky, is impossible to walk in and aren’t healthy. (When I do wear my heels, it’s just for a few hours at a time.)

I also don’t do dance clubs. I prefer places that aren’t overcrowded, and where I can actually talk with my companions, not scream in their ears. Also, if I do drink when I go out, I have no more than two drinks (beer and/or wine) as anything else could impair me. It’s also can be too expensive. (I can have a good bottle of wine and a six pack of real beer [i.e., Warsteiner, almost any porters, Guiness…) for the price of a couple of drinks at most places.

Also, I’m a size 11. I know no other woman with feet as big as mine.

The woman in the story should be thankful that the only thing that happened to her was that her overprices shoes were stolen. She was a walking stereotype– Drunk and alone stumbling around, much worse could have happened to her.

ETA: I’ve gotten many nice things free and second hand (most of our furniture, a good chunk of my clothing [what I’ve not gotten free, I’ve gotten for less than $20, most under $15, except for my winter coat, which I bought new and still only for $45 on sale), so she can have my shoes. It’s about Karma. Seriously, if she is that ticked about a lousy pair of shoes, let her have them. If she wasted hundreds of dollars on one pair of shoes, that’s her problem. Yes, I would be disappointed, as I only have one pair of heels (black, of course, it’s more practical, as they go with more) and I would have to buy another pair. However, in the big scheme of things, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal.

Then I’d run fast

Oh by the way, did this really happen, or is this hypoethetical? Cos I didn’t really mean any of that. Oh except for the ebay thing… I’d definately do that Lol.